“Disconnect to Connect”: A Story About Digital Parenting from the Heart
Did you know that from 0 to 2 years of age, technology doesn’t contribute to the development of children? Before discovering the digital world, babies need to discover our faces, our rhythm… our presence.
When Maya was born, everything changed for me. I stopped looking at the clock and started seeing her little eyes. The nights were long, the days blurry, and my phone became my refuge: there I found advice, answers, companionship… and also comparison, guilt, and anxiety.
One day, while breastfeeding Maya, I noticed she was staring at me with such intensity, as if trying to memorize my face. But my eyes were on the screen. That’s when I realized: the first connection Maya needed wasn’t with the world… it was with me.
Since then, I chose to live digital parenting with intention.
I turned off my phone during feedings, especially at night. I left it far away during bath time, lullabies, slow wake-ups, and playtime. I chose moments in the day to be 100% present: body, gaze, heart. Not to be perfect, but to be real and truly there.
When I use my phone, I do it with purpose: I listen to a story to tell her later or learn a song to sing to her. I also started connecting with other moms who share from a place of truth, not appearances. I even stopped following accounts that made me feel less than, and began to build my own rhythm of being a mom: imperfect, but mine (ours).
Now that Maya is 9 months old, I’ve started to integrate phone use when I’m with her (especially during the day), choosing with care. Not just any video. Not just any sound. The simple. The soft. The human. I chose to include her in video calls where her grandmothers sing her nursery rhymes and ask, “How old are you going to be?”
I believe it is possible to use technology with love, without rushing to entertain. Between digital pauses and undistracted hugs, I’ve learned to be a mom in the digital age. Conscious and mindful parenting is about modeling. It’s about showing how we take care of our time, our emotions, our attention when we are with them.
Remember to model healthy habits from the beginning:
• Turn off your phone during meals.
• Finish the show and turn off the TV.
• Balance screen time with reading and outdoor play.
• Give your full attention when playing or feeding your baby.
“It’s not about avoiding screens. It’s about using them with a heart wide open. Because before my daughter learned to navigate the digital world, she needed to learn to navigate me.”
About the Author
This article was written by Mariam Carpio, mother of Maya and an expert in education, human rights, and citizenship. With a solid background in social communication, Mariam has dedicated her career to inspiring, connecting, and creating impact—especially in protecting children and adolescents from online abuse and exploitation. Through innovative methodologies and a deep belief in the transformative power of education, she shares her vision of how to build a safer digital environment for children.
